“I am…” The breakup before the breakthrough.
By Åsa Nilsson | Apr 25, 2024
I had a bit of an epiphany this week when Thomas said one simple line to me over breakfast, “I am not the star Åsa, you are.”
This set me off on a downward spiral of weird reactions and over the top ‘not enoughness’ so much so that I contemplated shutting everything down that I have created over these past 7 years on my social media feeds and the podcast movement.
In the matter of one simple statement from my husband.
Hmmmm, something is off. Or maybe something is RIGHT? Pay attention, Åsa.
Asking myself, who am I to speak about all of these topics on social media? Maybe I should shut this all down? I am spending my life on social media posting and writing content and sharing my heart and my life and what if no one actually cares?
Or even worse, what if I am embarrassing myself and my family and I don’t even know it?
And then I got quiet.
I became still. I felt in.
Then I started to ask myself my questions of reasoning … what is it that I am really feeling right now?
I was brought back to a memory of myself as a young person who didn’t feel like my voice mattered and that I needed to stop asking so many questions. Stop talking so much. ‘Stop being who you are’ essentially.
Where are these messages coming from?
Who do I need to break up with so I can fully integrate into my uplevel that IS occurring right now? The break up HAS to occur so the breakthrough can occur. An old version of myself that still believes that lie needs to go. Now. Facing my shadows.
“I am… “everything. And so are you.
If you don’t have people around you supporting that thought, or even if you YOURSELF don’t support that thought, then I am guessing you have some breaking up to do too.
Host: Åsa Nilsson
Host contact Information:
IN THIS EPISODE I TALK ABOUT:
- Thomas’ aversion to being on the podcast and what that feels like.
- Voxer conversations, monologue and don’t get interrupted when you’re speaking.
- I have a need to share my heart and my voice. I don’t want to be embarrassed about that.
- “You’re the STAR Åsa, not me”… and then the spin out that occurred inside of me after that statement.
- Circle of Ugh, the pattern I have been following for the past 7 years, following someone else’s pattern. What about creating my own now?
- What is my discomfort? Talking too much? Being too much? Shameful to the family? Embarrassing myself?
- Is this what others are thinking about me? Is this what happens when I am on social media that I begin to think that I am not enough?? Or too much? Should I shut this all down?
- “I am….”
- A next level upleveling. It’s happening in and around me and I am feeling unsettled.
- Go into observer mode.
- Is our idea of what we want to create too fantastic? Too over the top? Can it be TOO good or TOO big? HELL NO!
- Creating a community. Finding my own voice. Sharing that. If people don’t like it, who are they to me?
- Childhood messaging of you are here to be seen not heard.
- Am I too much? Stop talking. Stop asking questions. Stop. Just stop.
- No, I will not stop. In fact, now I am going to double down.
- Who do you need to break up with so you can have YOUR breakthrough? Who is keeping you small? Who does not support your dreams?
- If you and I have those people in our lives then we need to see them for who they are today. Who WE are today.
- The STAR card in tarot. What does it symbolize? What can Thomas have meant?
- I am choosing a life of integrity. My integrity first.
- I am not sitting this life out.
- Who do you need to break up with so YOU can have your break through?
Mentioned in this episode:
- Charitable organizations: Stadsmissionen Stockholm, Myrorna Stockholm, Agape SecondHand
- Facebook Marketplace
- TipTapp app for pick ups and drop offs in and around Stockholm
Contact Information for Komeil Asli, Podcast Production Manager.
Freelance Graphic designer, UI/UX Designer and Front-end Developer.
Subscribe on Spotify, ACast, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts + YouTube (@AsaNilsson).
Like and follow us on Instagram, @AsaNilssonSweden.
If you have any general questions or comments for the show, click moremosstothepeople@gmail.com.
If you’d like to work with us, moremosstothepeople@gmail.com.
Thank you so much for listening!
Xx,
Åsa
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